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I Must Confess...

...that my resolve has been weak these past two weeks...i need an upper...

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Squinting at the Summit of a Goal Imaginable but Unseen

I am finally back where I want to be, Blogger, I only wish to write, wish to be read, wish to find others' insights on my thoughts. Intelligible insights I hope. Here and now I have to admit that there are so many things I have outgrown possibly due to age, circumstances or both. My first blog was Akheron, on it I wrote of emotional exploits, those jovially-unhappy days are over. Mountains to climb, wounds to bare, a vision to be lost and found, if indeed isolation for the moment is what I need to find the enlightenment that I so need in these, the years of my life, then I have already packed my gear, and I am taking that journey alone. Akheron is dead, and I, unnamed, am on my way. (Drum roll please!)

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Nobody reads my blogs, but it doesn't matter, I write for myself. That didn't sound so good I know. But I do, I do write for myself, for my psychological well being. But I love to teach too, I would like to be a teacher again some day. I would love to teach, as well as be good at what I am currently doing. I work in hospital as a nurse, this is the second year I am working in a hospital based in Victoria, Australia. My total years of work experience, 5. Not too many for a person turning 36. Not to say that I had done squat for 31 years. I have enjoyed the in-betweens of it all, and as my dad would reitarate: it's all about the end result, not the process alone. The journey carries on, I find that without writing, there does not seem to be a story, no narrative to give life to the decisions being made on a day to day basis. Life becomes less romanticized by toil and routine, when in fact, life is the most intricate drama that unfolds day in and day out and emotion and ...

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I am almost done doing a cleanup of my being, now, I am doing a cleanup of my system. Yes, I am another one of those sad stories (to those who claim to be physiologically well-off), I am in my late 20's, obese, morbidly. I am a smoker, I eat when I am bored, more so I love to cook when I am bored, and worst part is, I think I am really good with the cooking aspect(see my other blog jdeeskitch - will have some stuff up soon as I figure out what to feature). I have been smoking since my second year in college, that brings me to 8 years of smoking, I am capable of ingesting liquor, if only for the loss of inhibition and the messing around with one's proprioreceptor. I am currently working on straightening out my career path, it involves the rigors of weight loss, to allow me to get work at a prestigious hospital that pays an unjust salary. I am after the long-term benefits, and not the salary (nonetheless I hope it is enough for humane subsistence). I am one of those relatively-no...